Final Thesis: An Inquiry into the Childfree Lifestyle

Introduction: 
The justification for choosing to become a woman who does not want to bear children in her life time can be trying and demeaning. The popular term for a person or persons who decide to not have children is known as childfree. Childfree according to many different sources is the more positive term when describing those people and couples that have decided to not have children. The term that is considered to have a negative connotation is childless. As I am a young woman who is in my late twenties, I constantly contemplate the possibly of marriage and children in my future. As a young girl, it was a large part of my upbringing that I should reproduce and continue to obey societal norms and traditions as a fertile woman. Although the notion of only being recognized as fertile woman expected to reproduce is somewhat demeaning in the description itself, I cannot help but notice the current trends in what women in the age range of 24-45 are choosing, and that choice is to ultimately live childfree.
I address the issues associated with choosing a childfree lifestyle through the lens of artworks created by female contemporary artists that create artwork that relate to the notion of childfree life. A common, and often realistic situation for many women who are full time artists is that they choose to not have children while delving into their artistic practice. Judy Chicago, who is well known for her feminist artwork such as The Dinner Party, has spoken very frankly about not having children, she states, “I, like many women artists of my generation, believe that maternity is antithetical to the creative life, primarily because of prevailing attitudes that one couldn’t be a woman and an artist too”. Many women question whether they should choose their careers over having children. For some the choice is clear while for others, it is not so clear and they continue to question whether they want children or not. Some artists such as Jenny Saville, Janine Antoni and Hiroko Okada indirectly deal with the childfree lifestyle in their artwork. 
Today, most of the population still believes of the ideal family household: a father, a mother and 2.5 children. Recent findings, based on the 2010 Census, indicate that most family households will not have children. According to the U.S. Department of Commerce's 'Projections of the Number of Households and Families in the United States: 1995 to 2010', "The number of families with no children under 18 is projected to increase by 28 percent from 36 million to 46 million between 1995 and 2010...by 2010, 3 of 5 families may have no children present". Projections like these intrigue me, and I am interested in understanding why this might be the case.  
Commonalities:
A study by S.K. Houseknect (1978), indicates that there are nine main categories that motivate women when deciding to not have children, “freedom from childcare responsibility; greater opportunity for self-fulfillment and spontaneity; more satisfactory martial relationships; career considerations; monetary advantages; early socialization experiences and doubts about ability to parent; concern about physical aspects of childbirth and recovery and concern for children given world conditions,” (Zeihler, 1999, pg. 212). Freedom from childcare responsibility could be from the simple luxury of staying out late at night to sleeping in the next morning. Not having to feed, bathe and clothe another human being can be a great freedom to some women. Only expending energy on oneself can also lead to greater self-fulfillment and spontaneity. The ability to go on trips, spending money on luxury items and taking care of one’s health is a major advantage to not having children. Greater career considerations could lead to better monetary advantages. If childfree, a woman can make great advances in her education and career leading to promotions, raises and potential executive positions. Though all of these aspects deal mostly deal with monetary and status gain, there are aspects that are more serious and deal with the physical and mental issues of having children.
The advantages to living childfree can invariably lead to better outcomes in a woman’s life, but other considerations such as emotional and physical issues can play a major role on a woman’s decision to live childfree. Some women might feel doubtful about their ability to care for a child, not because of time or work, but feeling that they could not relate to the child or being a present parent.  For many women, it can seem very obvious that being a mother is almost second nature. Those women who feel the slightest doubt of being a parent can be the deciding factor that children are simply not the right choice.  Oprah Winfrey (2010), who has chosen to live childfree has been quoted saying, “Because instinctively, I understood that to do what I do every day is so nontraditional that it would have been difficult to try to conform to a traditional way of being…I never had a desire. And I don't think I could have this life and have children,” (pg. 1). Living a nontraditional life can certainly be a great reason for not having children. The physical toll pregnancy can have on a woman and her body can also be considered a reason to not have children. Complications due to a woman’s physical health are not only dangerous for her but for the baby. Knowing and factoring in all possible concerns is extremely important when deciding to have children. Knowing a woman’s own mental and physical capabilities to have children can easily sway her decision to be a mother. All of the categories mentioned above are of course the most common among women who decide to not have children, but there are many more factors and all issues should be equally studied and observed when making the decision to be childfree.
The main causes discussed in most of my research on the childfree lifestyle involved concerns with personal desires to complete their education, to have a reasonable socio-economic status that could afford a single woman to raise a child and living an unintentional hedonistic lifestyle. Other minor, but equality important causes were attributed to possible infertility, concerns with overpopulation and simply feeling that life can be equally rewarding without children. I will discuss some of the viewpoints from the different women surveyed based on what they stated was more important to them and their lives.  

Making the choice:
To live childfree is a choice. The choice, yet difficult, is an active and empowering choice that women make to not procreate. According to the popular podcast, Stuff Mom Never Told You, “1 in 5 women ends her childbearing years without having children compared to 1 in 10 women in the 1970s.” Due to feminists and women’s liberation movements in the 1970s and major advancements in female contraceptive options, such as oral contraception (the pill), birth control shots, skin patches, sponges, vaginal implants and rings, women are able to control when and if they would like to have a baby. The childfree lifestyle continues to be popular because women may delay childbearing until they are ready and prepared to have children.            
Reyes Lazaro (1986), a feminist writer, argues that the reason childlessness continues to be prevalent is because of the female reproductive system, contraceptive technology[1] and a males incapacity to share the same reproductive capabilities as women do. Choosing to live childfree, which may be wise for some women, other women still feel the brunt of the stigma associated with their lifelong choice. A very apparent trend that I have noticed in my research and the research of other authors is that continuing the process of reproduction can be a heavy burden to put on a woman, whether they want to give birth or not. Pressures of conformity and willingness to conform to societies norms are enough to change a young woman’s mind about becoming a mother. There are also considerations of evolutionary desire and the need to leave something of oneself behind after death. The choice, while empowering, could lead to feelings of doubt, guilt, and could lead to unwanted pressure to continue on the inherent need for evolutionary desire. To many people, evolutionary desire comes from the need to pass along one’s genes to continue population growth. People believe that leaving something such as a child behind after they die is imperative to leading a meaningful life. The joy that one may feel from childrearing during their life is considered more fulfilling than a woman who has chosen to live childfree. Although childfree women may sympathize with women who have an evolutionary desire, childfree women may feel that writing a book or making artwork are just as important and relative to having a child. The book or artwork becomes the “baby” and all the work done to create it can be compared to having and raising a child.
In Nicki Defago’s (2005) book, Childfree and Loving It!, she addresses a popular situation of couples explaining their childless lifestyle, “Everyone asks ‘Why don’t you have children?’ Nobody asks parents ‘Why do you have children?’ which is an equally good question in modern times,”(pg. 52). Usually the conversation turns into the accusation of a woman or couple being selfish for their choice to remain childfree, but why can’t making the choice to be childfree be a reasonably good thing? On my survey, I inquired about the participant’s current lifestyle choices and whether or not they have children. The question consisted of two parts, Part A. If you do have children, at what age did you decide to have them? If you could change your decision about your current lifestyle, would you and why or why not? and Part B. If you do not have children, why have you decided to not have any? Or are you still thinking about it? One of the most popular answers for not having children was that whether the participant was able to economically support a child.
“We are still thinking about it. Considerations include financial stability, personal health, gains in our personal careers, where we live (quality of living), political climate, and overpopulation.” A., age 33                                                     

 “We do not currently have children. It’s a complex issue for us, and we are still thinking about it…We are thinking about adopting and some of its potential costs – emotional and financial.” Anonymous

Another popular concern that researchers expressed in their findings was the unwillingness of people or couples to give up the potential for self-fulfillment and more satisfactory martial relationships.  Described as the ability to partake in spontaneous activities, Veevers states, “Much more than parents, the childfree can structure their leisure time mainly in terms of the hedonistic question, ‘What do we feel like doing right now?’” (pg. 74). This ability to go on spontaneous trips and buy expensive gifts for you and your spouse can be another aspect of wanting a stress-free lifestyle, whereas having children can be quite stressful. One participant explained in her response the inability to live a life that she would want to fully enjoy with her significant other, 
“We know that in having a child, we would have to eat out less, travel less, and frequent fewer events. We enjoy all of these things and are not willing to give them up yet. Essentially, we don’t have children for the same reason we don’t have a dog.” R.M.P., age 25


The meaning of parenthood seems to shift depending on what stage of life you may find yourself presently. Participant R.M.P., talks about choosing to live childfree as a different life path that some people choose, whether they decide to definitely not have children. In regards to couples that are younger and decide to live childfree, Veevers states, “The younger a couple are when they declare their intention to avoid parenthood, the more they are looked upon askance, and the less they are granted credibility,”(pg. 125). At least at an older age, women can evaluate their lives and make the decision based on the lifestyle they have and want for the future.
Based on a study by Paul Glick (1975), “Some researchers predict a resurgence of fertility when presently childless young women near the end of their childbearing years…It seems likely however, that a sizeable proportion of supposedly temporary postponements of childbearing will eventually become permanent postponements,”(pg. 87). The term postponement refers to a person or ‘postponer’, who has decided to remain childless after marriage as opposed to the term ‘early articulators’, who decide before marriage. Participant L.L. shares her experience about being a woman over 45 and deciding to live childfree,  
“I found out in my late 30’s that I have some fertility issues that may have prevented conception earlier in my life but, having used birth control for most of my adult life, I feel that not having children was a conscious decision. I was told that I could become pregnant with medical assistance if I chose to but have never considered pursuing that.” L.L., over 45 


In L.L.’s case, infertility, contraception and medical assistance were the major factors that lead to her decision to live childfree. She also attributes her decision to remain childfree to continuing to use contraception throughout her life. Participant L.L. could be considered what Veevers calls an ‘aficionado’, a person who is an ardent devotee of voluntary childlessness because they appreciate the advantages of being childfree. Those who are primarily motivated by reaction against the disadvantages of having children are considered ‘rejectors’.[2]
From the perspective of a participant who waited to have a child with her husband later in life, the thoughts and questions are the same. Could her and her husband afford to support a child? Should she have a child or further her educational and professional career? Participant K. retells her decision as, 
       “When I was 38 years old, I found out that the number of women’s eggs are finite. I had considered myself an intelligent person until that moment…I was married, but didn’t think about children (too busy working and going to school)…“Should I get a PhD or have a baby?” K., over 35
As we can see, the factors or motives such as education, career advancement and satisfactory martial relationships are all present in the participant’s personal accounts. We must choose a life of childlessness or motherhood, based on the inherent need of society to continue to juggle being a mother, wife and worker. Our decisions undoubtedly bring up issues of stigmatization such as, if a woman chooses to live a childfree lifestyle she is looked down upon and shamed for being selfish. If a woman decides to have children, then she is perfectly in sync with her social responsibility and will be celebrated for carrying out what all mothers before her have accomplished. 
Childfree vs. Childless:
Sometimes the terminology of the words childless and childfree can define a woman’s choice. After researching this topic at great length, I wanted to know what women think about the terms childless and childfree. In my survey, I wanted to receive the most honest answers to all of the questions as possible. I recognized that asking those who had not decided to have children yet, for whatever reason, would be a sensitive topic to discuss. For that reason, I made the option for participants to only disclose their names or initials if they wanted. I asked a series of three questions to about 20 women from different socio-economic backgrounds and ethnicities. I did not have a preference as to whether they had children or not, because I feel that even if the participants had children they could still answer if they enjoyed motherhood or not. The first question I asked was, ‘What is your opinion about being labeled childfree vs. childless? What do you think are the positive and negative connotations?’ One participant stated,
“Childfree” implies to me that the user of the term believes children are a burden, while “childless” implies that the term user believes there is a deficit… something missing. I have never applied either term to myself, nor have I heard anyone describe me with either of those terms. Instead, people have asked me if I have or want to have children.” A., age 33

It is interesting to point out the phrase that the participant used, “the user of the term believes children are a burden”. What are the implications of believing children can be a burden? Society frowns upon women who decide to consciously not have children, and if they believe children are a burden, then is all hope completely lost for these women? As women, we are socially bound to some invisible contract that says ‘as women we will procreate and we will enjoy it’.
            “No, I don’t feel that I have ever had to justify my decision to have children because it is socially expected.” M.M., age 39

Participant M.M. briefly explains her decision to have children and based on past research, her response is extremely normal because having children is socially expected for a woman. Her decision to have her children may have not been as well thought out as one who would have considered all of the possibilities when becoming a parent, but nevertheless, she never felt judged. How is one to feel if they are being constantly judged?
Participant, A made the distinction clear about the terms childfree and childless, but they seemed to both have a negative connotation, whereas most authors believe the term childfree is positive and childless is negative[1].
The comparison of the terms childfree and childless has had a tremendous effect on me as a young woman who may or may not have children in the future. For, I am still undecided on the matter. One reason for deciding against not having children would be that I would be lonely, and never truly have any responsibility, but only be responsible for myself. Veever’s (1980) describes an interesting concept about being free and being childless not always being a desired circumstance, “Not all childless persons necessarily consider freedom a worthwhile advantage. Being free may for some be equated with being lonely, or rootless, or generally anomic[2]”, (pg. 78). Most of my peers would say that if would I decide to not have children, that my life would be very lonely. I would invariably feel judged for not having children as well as judged for living a ‘free’ life of children. It is believed that even though a person may decide to not have children in their lifetime, does not assume that they genuinely dislike children. Many people may feel perfectly comfortable around children; they just don’t feel having them will be beneficial to them or to the child. Another participant, D., explained the same notion of children as a burden,

            “My instinctual reaction is that it sounds a bit too much like “cancer-free” or “disease-free.”  It implies that children are a burden and that has a negative aspect for me. Childless doesn’t bother me at all.” D., age 30 

As of right now, I would consider myself childless, not as a negative term, but as a fact. I am 25 years old and do not have children, therefore I am childless. Just as participant D., stated, “Childless doesn’t bother me at all”. The term ‘less’ meaning that I am only responsible for myself and not another human being. Childfree on the other hand, insinuates that I have already made the decision to not have children. I would be free of diapers, crying, headaches and the like. I could live my life stress free and hence…childfree.
Stigma and Ways to Cope:
A certain stigma or stereotype is attached to a person who decides to live childfree even if they are still thinking about having children in the future. Many women I have spoken to, especially if they are currently married, feel the constant pressure of being asked ‘when are you two having a baby?’ It is as if there is some clique women need to be apart of to ‘fit in’ and looked at as normal functioning members of society. Park (2005) describes in her essay a common problematic situation of childfree people as, “The intentionally childless may be criticized by their lifestyle being associated with ‘excessive’ individualism…the trend toward impersonal, rationalized roles and relationships in society”, (pg. 376).  As mentioned before, the factors and motives of women to become mothers should be as much as a major decision as the decision to be childfree. Based on other researcher’s methods for ways to cope with other’s pretentious accusations of childlessness, Park (2005) has development some ways women can deal with their decision to live childfree. Her culmination includes passing, identity substitution, condemning the condemners, claiming biological deficiency and redefining the situation. Passing is simply ignoring or choosing to not discuss your decision. Identity substitution allows you to discuss your decision with your accuser as if they were childfree. This coping mechanism could also be thought of as role reversal. Condemning the condemners can be considered as criticizing parents for being selfish for having children. Two somewhat negative ways to explain your decision to be childfree are to claim biological deficiency and redefining the situation. Claiming biological deficiency could be true in regards to infertility but you may also use it as an excuse to avoid discussing your decision to live childfree. Redefining the situation can take many forms; you could describe your personal decision as being one that was influenced by others, outside influences such as the environment or population control. No matter which method a woman chooses to use to deal with their decision to live childfree, it is mostly to preserve their identity and good self.[1]
The third and final question on my survey required the participants to reflect on justification their decision to be childfree or not. Part A asked, Have you ever felt that you had to justify your decision to be childfree, and how? Part B asked, Have you ever felt like you had to justify your decision to have children? Depending on what lifestyle the participants were leading at the time, their answers varied slightly. Some explained that there was no difference whether they were childless or not. Others commented on the fact that they weren’t questioned of their choice to have children because it is socially expected. Participant A. and M. R. explain their feelings on weighing the possibilities and what others have thought based on their present decisions,  

            “I’ve come across lots of people who don’t understand our decision. Having children is the norm for most people in my experience. They claim it’s what we’re supposed to do. I refuse to take so lightly the decision to bring another person into this world. I question whether anyone who has children “because it’s what people do” should be having them. Lives should not be taken so lightly.” A., age 33
“I would consider myself childless at this time, because I do want children just not at this time.  But at my age, many people already have children and I do sometimes feel that I have to explain to certain people who already do have children, why I have decided to give it more time.” M.R., age 25

In reviewing my surveys, I noticed that the earlier in age the participant was, the more likely there was to be indecision about the topic. Which is understandable because life seems as though there’s still so much time to decide, especially if the participant was single. If the participants were married then life with children was either a reality or still being pondered. But depending on their lifestyles, economic status and overall well-being, the decision was made with considering most of the major categories discussed earlier in the paper.
Art Addressing the Childfree Lifestyle: 
Along with factual and analytical research on the childfree lifestyle, I chose some female artists who represent childlessness as well as the celebration of motherhood in their artwork. I felt that if I only included artwork about being childfree that I wouldn’t be addressing issues with being a mother. Since some of the participants in my survey do have children, I wanted to include artists who celebrate motherhood and praise them for opening dialogue about being a woman, a mother and an artist. In the introduction of this paper, I quoted feminist artist Judy Chicago disagreeing with being a mother and an artist. But even Chicago couldn’t help but address the issue of being a woman and mother in The Birth Project 1980-1985. Though she created artwork on the subject of motherhood, Chicago has never had children herself. More and more contemporary female artists are grappling with the concept of motherhood and childlessness in their work, such as Janine Antoni, Jenny Saville and Hiroku Okada. These artists not only informed this paper, but my artwork related to this topic as well.
Many of Janine Antoni’s sculptures and photographs deal directly with womanhood and motherhood. In Antoni’s photograph Inhabit, 2009 (see Fig. 1), the artist is shown as a keeper of many things. She wears a dollhouse as a dress in a child’s bedroom. As she floats above the floor, being held up by eight, spider-like ropes, she looks down on her life and creation of a home. Antoni describes her concept behind Inhabit as, “In my mind it is no leap to imagine the womb as primordial architecture. I’m structured so that I have room for another to dwell inside me: a quintessentially female experience.” Antoni has a daughter who is depicted in another photograph, One another, 2008 (see Fig. 2). Her daughter serves as an umbilical cord, feeding the womb from which she came from. These works show a strong bond between Antoni’s idea of what being a woman and mother means to her artwork. She is a contemporary artist that has chosen to continue to create work even though she is a mother. Instead of ignoring motherhood, Antoni’s unconventional career as an artist has enabled her to highlight the concept. 

Figure 1:
Janine Antoni, Inhabit, 2009

Figure 2:
Janine Antoni, One Another, 2008

Another artist who has highlighted motherhood in their work is Jenny Saville. In Reproduction drawing II, 2009-2010 (see Fig. 3), Saville draws her pregnant self-portrait holding a child from a daVinci cartoon. Saville, one the famous ‘Young British Artists’, is known for her paintings of fleshy, obese nudes. In her more recent work, she has taken a turn toward motherhood. The Reproduction series focuses on her interpretations of classical artist daVinci’s drawings of the Virgin Mary and Child. She has put herself in place of the religious figure Mary, who, for many people exemplifies the word motherhood because of the biblical story of her ability to immaculately conceive the Baby Jesus. In many ways, women feel that their ability to reproduce is a magical experience. Placing themselves as the central figure, Saville and Antoni have commented on the central role a woman and mother play in a child’s life. In both depictions, the women are juggling or holding items together. This could comment on the flexibility that a woman has to have to be a mother. 
Figure 3:
Jenny Saville, Reproduction drawing II, 2009-2010

Lastly, Hiroku Okada, a contemporary Japanese video and photographic artist comments on the pressures of womanhood and the humorous futuristic concept of male conception. In Okada’s photograph, Singing in the Pain, 2004 (see Fig. 4), she depicts herself in a flower-patterned apron and house slippers holding a blood-soaked umbrella and ladle. Her stance and facial expression is very playful, as if she is dancing. She may look as though she is enjoying herself, but her commentary on women’s oppression and supposed womanly duties are very apparent in the photo. Society’s views on women can be seen through her exaggerated wince and smile. Okada takes her views on motherhood and womanly duties to another level in her photo series, Future Plan #2, 2003 (see Fig. 5). In these humorous, yet disturbing photos, she depicts three men being nine months pregnant, in their underwear and ready to deliver. The men are leisurely posing around and in front of a hospital curtain. Their facial expressions are ones of happiness and joy just before they give birth, which is contradictory based on knowing what women look and feel like before they give birth. One interpretation from the photos that Okada could be depicting is that if a man were to give birth, it would be beautiful and not as painful, especially judging by the men’s faces in the photos. They seem to be laughing at the pain women feel when they’re nine months pregnant. Okada’s commentaries on women’s hardships are apparent in her work and largely informed my artwork on my thesis topic as women being vessels for life and creation.   
Figure 4:
Hiroku Okada, Singing in the Pain, 2004 
 

Figure 5:
Hiroku Okada, Future Plan #2, 2003

My Artwork:
Immediately when I think of birth or rebirth I think of cocoons. I think of the constant eating of a caterpillar, much like how babies have the need to feed and be fed. Caterpillars grow fat and happy, and then soon will develop into a cocoon. The transformation from caterpillar to butterfly is where I sit, fascinated by nature's creation and recreation of the insect. My final project is much like the process in which a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. I, like nature, first mold happy, little fat cocoons, paint them, hang them and then create the paper chrysalises that are left behind with the words of women who speak of the childfree lifestyle.
Upon surveying 20 women about the childfree lifestyle, I felt that creating cocoons that would represent all women, who choose to have or not have children in their lifetime was an interesting and unique decision. Each cocoon can stand-alone or be a part of the larger group, much like women who decide to be childfree. The bands of colors signify the individual characteristics of women and their fruitful nature but the uniform and repetitive shape of the cocoons makes the group of represented women stronger and bound together. The braids that hold the cocoons together are reminiscent of the umbilical cord that once bound us to our mothers and could bind us to our children. Because most of the research on the childfree lifestyle is based on the choices of women in their personal and professional lives, I thought it fitting to include the statements of those participants of my survey as words of wisdom for the remaining cocoons and for the viewer. Since deciding to live childfree is in fact a choice, women everywhere can appreciate that we indeed have the power to make the choice and can live full and happy lives based on our decisions. 

Conclusion:
Given all the explanations and comments contributed by the participants in my survey, I have reached the conclusion that remaining childfree for women is an invariably slippery slope. On the one hand, we are considered by society to have a ‘need’ to be mothers, because we can empathize and are naturally more nurturing than men. But on the other hand, we are also expected to make ourselves happy and choose a life that is rewarding, whether it involves a higher education or flourishing career. Seemingly, we cannot have both and if we do, one will always lack more than the other. Living childfree is a choice, a choice that takes as much consideration as deciding to have a child. Many questions often flood the minds of women and their partners about if children would be a meaningful addition to their lives. For many, the decision seems preconceived, and for others like the participant above, the factors and questions seem to continue and often conclude with what will truly lead to a happy lifestyle.

 
The Survey:
My survey is a series of questions, directed to only female subjects who are any of the following: single, married, has children, does not have children and within an estimated age range of 24-45. I just ask that you please fill out the survey completely and honestly. And of course, any subject mentioned in my final paper and/or artwork will be completely anonymous. I also ask that you please specify if you would like to include your initials or perhaps just the first letter of your first name and your age.

 Childfree vs. Childless
According to many authors and subjects, the idea of being childfree as opposed to childless is a more positive way to explain this major life decision.

1. What is your opinion about being labeled childfree vs. childless? What do you think are the positive and negative connotations?



2. A. If you do have children, at what age did you decide to have them? If you could change your decision about your current lifestyle, would you and why or why not?

    B. If you do not have children, why have you decided to not have any? Or are you still thinking about it?




3. A. Have you ever felt that you had to justify your decision to be childfree, and how?

B. Have you ever felt like you had to justify your decision to have children?


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